Unfortunately Breathless
by punchdrunkMarvel
Summary: Kyouya has the hiccups, and Dino feigns to know the cure. Way too much fluff; oneshot written for D18 day.


**an:** **ew i missed d18 day. oh well, here's a super fluffy cottony candy fic. read responsibly and brush your teeth after.**

How unlucky. It was already a terrible, terrible idea for Kyouya to be assigned a mission with anyone, no less _the Bucking Horse_, and the plane trip, actual mission – a simple shut down of a rival drug ring that could've easily been handled solo – and everything after had been bad enough. But now _this. _The incessant stream of noise as they walked side by side to their hotel, and the worst part was that Dino didn't even need to be talking to make this noise.

"Can you please _stop_," Kyouya finally blurted, scrunching his eyebrows angrily at the road ahead.

"Kyou-_hic-_ya, I can't help it! _Hic. _I have the –"

"I didn't ask what you had. I just told you to shut up."

Dino walked on his left side, something he insisted on because of his aristocratic upbringing, but Kyouya was _not _a woman, and Dino was definitely _not _a gentleman. The skylark would never attest to that. Dino was loud, and rude, and stumbly—it didn't matter if it wasn't his fault. But at least when some snotty little Fiat drove by and showered him with a puddle, Kyouya would have the pleasure of laughing his smug ass off (not in any literal sense), nice and dry. This is the _only _reason he permits Dino's coddling.

He heard him hiccup again. Dino's face was twisted into indignation, a terribly pouty kind of indignation one sees on small children who can't get their way. "You know what, Kyouya? One day, God's gonna give _you _something you can't help, and you're not gonna know how to deal with it."

"No," Kyouya snapped in response as they crossed the street and made their way towards the towering, rustic hotel. "I am always in full control of myself."

"Your mind, yeah. And even your body, I guess..." Dino hiccuped again, his golden eyes flitting around with nothing to light on. "But what about—_hic_—your emotions? What if you fall in_ looooove?_"

"Obscene," Kyouya called out, quickly yanking the door open before Dino had the chance to do it for him. He let it close on his hiccuping companion as much as possible before the Bucking Horse could squeeze through.

Kyouya fast-walked up to the front desk, but even walking as quickly as he could, it was easy for his much-taller tutor to outstride him. "Chiavallone, I—_hic, _excuse me_—_have a reservation."

"Certainly," replied the concierge with no more than a little giggle at Dino's condition. Kyouya rolled his eyes, impatiently drumming his fingers on the desk.

"Why couldn't you let me talk to her? You sounded like a complete idiot." he asked, and Dino smiled, but reluctantly, like he was trying to suppress it.

"Your Italian's really..._ hic._ _Bad_, Kyouya. No offense..." He let out a little chuckle as he said this, and Kyouya narrowed his eyes. He would bite him to death later for that, surely...

"Have a great stay," said the girl at the counter, and Dino thanked her, grabbing the key out of her hand.

"Where's mine?" Kyouya asked, and Dino just looked at him.

"We have the same room," he answered, nervously chewing his nail. Kyouya reached up and tore his arm from his mouth once they were on the elevator, making him hiccup in disbelief.

"Stop. You look like a baby."

"Ha!" Dino's voice filled the confined space. "Well, you look like a no-fun ancient Pharaoh mummy."

"Pharaohs were great rulers," the haughty prefect replied pridefully, his back straightening. Dino rolled his eyes but smiled nevertheless.

Kyouya was aware (and slightly embarrassed) of how he bickered with the Bucking Horse all the time, but sometimes, very cocky people like Dino Chiavallone needed to be put in their places. He was pretty much the only one that could do that. Usually, he didn't bother at all with herbivores (other than to bite them to death and steal their money), but this was a notable case. Dino, after all, was a special kind of herbivore—a particularly large, annoying, and needy kind, otherwise known as_ equus ferus caballus._

When Dino wasn't breaking the norm of the social paradigm with his outstanding acts of mawkish sympathy or indulging in his favored epicurean pleasures, he was _bothering _Kyouya. And what could be worse than being ridden by this annoying plant-eater on an increasingly more frequent basis? It seemed that Dino had found a new plaything, and the window of time to escape from his doomed role was shrinking fast.

But like most annoyances in life, it kept falling by the wayside when more important things came up, even in the leisurely life of a despot. So there he was, stuck in a hotel room with him, another night of pain and irritation. His partner instantly rushed to the bathroom at almost the instant the door was unlocked, nettling Kyouya even further. So the gentlemanly act was just a public ruse. He dropped his bag down on the floor and started rifling through it for his pajamas.

Dino appeared out of the bathroom shortly after he had gotten changed, also in his pajamas (flannel pants and a bathrobe), and sighed loudly. "It's all yours, Kyouya... _HIC._"

Kyouya squinted, deciding that he had better stake claim on the only bed before it was too late. He could see Dino eying him expectantly, anticipating his movement. Unfortunately, they happened to jump in it at the same time.

"We are _not _sharing," Kyouya snapped, tearing the blankets away from Dino.

"Oh, come on! We're both guys... I can't sleep on a—_hic_—couch!" He pulled them back in his direction, dislodging a few of the pillows between them.

"I will bite you to death if you don't get out of this bed right now, Dino Chiavallone."

"Shut up! You're so melodramatic. _Hic._"

"Diva."

"Jerk! _Hic!_"

As hard as he pulled, he couldn't wrench the blankets away from his obstinate tutor, who was just staring at him, looking angry and sad at the same time. "I have an idea," proposed Dino diplomatically. "We'll play rock-paper-scissors. _Hic. _Whoever loses will sleep on the couch."

Kyouya considered carefully for a minute. "Fine. What if it's a tie?"

Dino smirked. "We'll share."

The prefect rolled his eyes. A second later the results horrified him. He picked rock, Dino had picked paper. The older man grinned smugly, wrapping himself in the blankets. "_Buona notte. HIC_."

Kyouya tore one of the pillows from the bed and walked off, stretching himself out on the couch. Oh well. At least he was finally away from that vile hiccuping. He only had a few minutes to lie sulking about it before he had fallen asleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"Kyouya?"

He didn't want to believe it. It felt like he had just fallen asleep, and he couldn't accept that it was already morning. His body was stiff from sleeping on the couch, and his eyes were tired and his head ached. If that bastard wanted to wake him up, he was going to need a fog horn.

"Kyouya!" the whisper persisted until it became a hiss, and then a soft voice, repeating his name over and over again. "Kyouya, please get up. Get up or I'm going to pick you up!"

"What... do... _you _want?" growled Kyouya. He realized it was still dark in the room, Dino was standing before the couch in his pajamas, and the digital clock on the nightstand read that it was only a bit past midnight.

"I can't sleep. I feel bad. Here, go sleep in the bed."

"I'm fine here," he mumbled, turning around to cuddle into the soft, leather couch cushions.

"Please, Kyouya. You should sleep there. You're younger than me."

"No."

"Kyouya!"

The prefect finally sat up, anything to shut that incessant mouth of his. He got up and crossed the hotel room blindly until his thigh bumped up against the mattress, then climbed in. He quickly began to fall asleep as he pulled the blankets over himself, until he felt a presence next to his bed.

"I'm cold, sorry, I just need a blanket..." It was Dino's voice, but Kyouya just kept his eyes closed and pretended to be asleep. He _convinced _himself he was still asleep. But Dino just kept tugging the blankets, and rustling everything, and making quiet, awkward groans of frustration.

"Just get in the damn bed," Kyouya snapped. Enough of the folderol, he would rather sleep with the bucking horse than not sleep at all.

"Are you sure? ...Well, nevermind, don't change your mind! Thanks Kyouya."

"Whatever," he muttered. Maybe, in the dark recesses of his mind, he could admit subconsciously that Dino Chiavallone wasn't _that _bad. He was one of the few people that Kyouya tolerated, after all.

He was drifting off to sleep, peacefully this time. Dino was keeping his distance, everything was quiet and still, and the night was young. All that was left to do was to sleep. Peace... quiet... bed... _hic. _What was _that? _Damn, and just when you thought Dino had gotten over that abusive case of spontaneous mouth noises. _Hic. _Wait.

Dino chuckled from his side of the bed, and Kyouya shot up in horror. "Ok, herbi—_hic. _Herbivore. How'd you do it?"

"Do what?" Dino laughed, seeming unable to control himself.

"How did you make me—_hic_—get these stupid things? Are they con—_hic. _Contagious?"

"No! Haven't you ever had the hiccups before? It's just a coincidence."

Kyouya buried his face in the pillow. _Hic. Hic. Hic. _Several minutes passed, and nothing happened. If anything, the disease just got _worse. _The hiccups became increasingly violent and loud, so loud that Dino even sat up and turned on the lamp beside the bed. Kyouya felt him rubbing his back and sat up, pushing him away. "Don't touch me. _HIC!_"

Dino laughed out loud. "Ok. This is no normal case of the hiccups," he began, rubbing his chin. "These are second degree hiccups, I believe."

"Bullshit," snapped Kyouya. "_HIC!_"

"It's true! Look, I'm no doctor, but I happen to know a thing or two about hiccups. Trust me."

"_HIC! _So what are you s—_HIC! _Saying? You can get rid of these things for me?"

"Possibly. Here, let's try some water first."

Dino got up and scrounged around the hotel room, grabbing a glass and some ice, while Kyouya sat on the bed hiccuping. If he wasn't so miserable, he would've found it unacceptable to let the so-called hiccup doctor help him, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Haneuma returned with the glass of ice water and handed it to Kyouya. "Just drink it slowly, ok? Oh, and it'll help if you let me rub your back for you while you do it."

The treatment seemed dubious at best, but he had no choice but to go along with it. He tried to tell himself the goosebumps running up his arms were just from the ambient 72-degree heated air as Dino rubbed up and down his back slowly, a mere T shirt separating their skin. After drinking the whole glass, he felt a bit calmer. He gave it a few seconds before speaking. "I think it worked. _HIC! _Damn it."

Dino snorted, although it sounded like he had tried to hold it back. "My earlier prognosis may not have been accurate... It's worse than I thought! Third degree hiccups..."

"What?" Kyouya knitted his eyebrows and stared at his tutor. Were these actual ailments or just an idiot messing with him? He couldn't take any chances if he didn't want to be a hiccuping freak for the rest of his life. "Can you cure it?"

"Well, I _can_... but I don't know."

"You don't know? Don't know wh—_HIC! What, _Haneuma?"

"It's a little extreme. The only cure is to... take your breath away."

Dino stared at him with earnest gold eyes, a patient smile forming on his lips. It sounded like a bad love song, but if it was the only way after all... "_HIC! _How would you do that?"

"The only medically correct way would be a kiss."

Kyouya scowled at him. Now this was very serious. He thought about it, but as the seconds ticked by—_HIC, HIC, HIC! _He couldn't take it anymore. "Do it," he finally snapped, granting his consent.

Dino smirked softly, and without a word, his eyes closed and his lips parted. Kyouya stiffened, bracing himself for what he had only ever assumed would be utter disgust, but once their lips touched, something peculiar happened. His heart began to pound, his eyes fluttered closed, and his cheeks warmed. As Dino pressed against him, his lips moving gently, he expected to recoil and have an abhorrent and violent urge to vomit. But instead, his lips moved back, just slightly.

Abruptly, it was over. Dino pulled away, his cheeks flushed and his eyes surprised, and Kyouya felt a sudden and intense embarrassment. He turned away. What had come over him? He wiped his mouth to hide his hopefully unred face, and Dino's voice garbled in his ears. "What?" he asked again, coming out of his daze.

"Did it work?" Dino repeated, sounding just as out of breath as Kyouya was supposed to be.

"I don't know."

There was silence for a moment. And then more silence. And then not silence. _Hic. Hic! HIC! _

"_HIC! _Dino..." growled Kyouya, and the don shirked back slightly, but couldn't keep a huge grin off his face.

"Now, Kyouya..." he began, chuckling slightly. "The results aren't always immediate... Have some patience, y-yeah?"

"No. It's your turn to be breathless. For a long time."

"W-wait! Kyouya, do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

_Nothing. _They both waited in silence, again. This time Kyouya had to make sure. Still nothing! Those wretched things were finally gone. He could sleep now. Kyouya smirked, lying back in bed. "You got lucky, Chiavallone. I'm tired." He heard Dino sigh, then snap the light off.

"Goodnight, Kyouya," said Dino quietly.

"It will be..." responded Kyouya sleepily.

Kyouya drifted off, too drowsy to do anything as Dino's arm stretched across his chest. He had the most unusual dreams that night.


End file.
